Am I Crazy?

Life changes. Its that simple, people change, everything changes. You just have to learn to live with the changes that happen. Im learning that this past month.
Ive made the decision that I needed to be happy for me not for anyone else but me. I cant honestly say Ive done that before. I no longer want to compromise on the important things in life and I dont ever want to ask someone to compromise on the important things in life for me. No one will be happy that way in the end.
For the first time in seven years Ive become a single woman living in Las Vegas (crap) and trying to do things on my own for once. I have never had to do things alone. Its been a bit scary and disappointing already and Im not even a week into it.
I got to Vegas on Tuesday night and fell right to sleep (its a long drive). So Wednesday I got in my car with Bandit and we were off to find a car wash. After 30-45 minutes of driving up and down the streets of the west side of town. I finally had to pull over and have a little break down moment and cried for a good 10 minutes, while asking Bandit WTF we were doing. I couldnt find a damn car wash and I was realizing I had never had to wash my car before. Ted always did that for me so I had no clue how to do it. Thats a hard realization when it all comes crashing down on you, over stupid little things like a damn car wash. I pulled myself together enough to countine my search. I finally said forget it and started to drive across town (my old side of town) where I know where all the car washes are. My sister calls and says she needs a ride home. So I said fine and on our way home you have to help me wash my car because Ive already had a melt down.
I still suck at washing the car, Im quite terrible at it actually.
The next day I went to my school and started the enrollment process. Which Im very glad I did. Damn NV laws that says Assisants cant do ANYTHING really. So to actually get anything out of my career choice I need to because Certified asap. So after the stop at school I started calling the clinics around town (same clinics I worked for in CO) and got me an interview today. Which went SUPER WELL. It was informal since I had worked with the company before and thanks to Melisa for giving me a great letter of recommedation (love her) plus the fact that Ive started the process for school it went great. She said it shouldnt be long before I hear from them. =D so that gave me a little bit of my confindance back thank gosh it wasnt looking good for me after that car wash ordeal.
Its going to be hard, but I know this is right for me. I know I have to do things on my own for once or I will always question my self-worth. So I need to figure myself out.
I really do hope I made the right decision. Only time will tell really. I know I cant ask someone to change themselves for me so in time everyone will see its for the best for everyone involoved.

a few pictures from the last month.

I wish I always looked this good reading and listening to music.

But that would be a little bit of a lie...okay a BIG lie lol

I freaken love this place! I think I would own it if that were possible. Just so I could take pictures of it whenever I wanted to. I will be back when the grass is green and when there is snow on the ground to take more photos of it. Maybe a trip out to it for our engagment photos/trash the dress photos will happen here...I wonder if we could get in trouble for that?

My lovely new(to.me)car. I LOVE IT. Getting the windows tinted this weekend and Ill love it even more then.

This is a lovely drive through to a liquor store called The Bitches Bar. I couldnt even make that up.

Pump first...people are too trusting up north. lol

in the black hills mountain. Love this photos and him of course.

Black Hills Mountain

Yep you guessed it...same mountain

This says it all and makes me smile

The not moving blog.

Alright, so after MUCH thought and a painstaking look at my financial bill that is going to keep me in debt for the REST OF MY LIFE! Im not even joking about that debt part. Who would have thought an 8 month school would do that to ya. I sure didnt. Oh and I didnt think that because they didnt tell me. I was told 6% interest, not the best but not to bad and also so.not.true. Its actually 6.8% and its gaining interest DAILY! also wasnt told that little tid bit. Who the heck can pay that off? No one thats who. I know I cant. With my no job self. So we looked at it. And I need to make a crazy monthly payment just to keep afloat on it. So with that, I have made the decision to not move. I cant theres no way. I can not go back to school and add an additional 15grand to what mess I already have. Thats not smart at all. So I got my job back at Banfield I plan to find the book I need to study for my tech cert and work my ass off to get that taken care of. Without that crazy ass debt. Im not a fan of debt. I dont want it unless its the house were going to buy. So again my big life news has changed. Im glad I get to stay in CO I wasnt looking forward to living in Vegas again. (I really do hate that place) But Im bummed that the things that were starting to be planned can no longer happen. And Im actually not that bummed about not going to school if I can really push through this book and get my cert anyways.

Good news? Ted and I are planning our wedding =) thats right people after going on 7 years we are actually planning the big day. The plans we wanted, which was a boat in Miami is out and we are now looking at the Mountains of Colorado. But thats about it so far lol. We are still figuring everything out. But woo hoo. Im excited about us actually being married Im not so excited about planning it though. I know I know Im like the worse girl ever lol whatever Im okay with that.

Well there you go. I know Ive really disappointed a lot of my Vegas people but I have to do what is best for Ted and I and that much debt is so not whats best. Were really hoping that we can pay this crap down as much as possible before we start our married life =) I like the sound of that. But we need less debt so we can buy us a pretty Colorado house with no stairs because Bandit is band from them per doctors orders. By the way he is doing better. He is finishing up his the last bit of his anti-inflammatories, hes done with his pain meds and muscle relaxers. His nerve test came back fine. Just no stairs or exerecise (Im not spell checking that word) for another week. Just in time for the beautiful weather and dog parks woo hoo.
Okay Im going to read now. Have a good night my lovelies.

So busy. Yet so not busy at the same time. What?

So the date has been set. Some what. More planned for March 20th, the only thing that will stop that from happening is money. It shouldnt be an issue with how well my wonderful new car does on gas but who knows. But that is the plan and hopefully we can stick to it. I gave up CUBS tickets. That is just ridiculous really! I am also passing up on seeing Hinder in Denver with my old co workers, which is a big bummer. All to be back in Vegas in time for Megan to visit. Its been forever since I seen her. I will be missing Skyes wedding which sucks big time though!
But all in all I think its a good time because then I can hopefully start school before June.*crossing fingers*
I havent made much progress on my book though. Even though there has been a lot of down time. But it was down time spent with my babe so of course I didnt want to spend that time reading. We drove back to CO last Wednesday night we drove through the Black Hills Mountains. Its beautiful through there. But we were just an hour from Mt. Rush Moore, which Im super bummed we didnt know that until we were already past it. Id freaken love to see that. But I can add South Dakota and Wyoming to my list of states Ive been too so thats cool. But we spent the weekend seriously from Ft. Collions to Denver looking for a car. It was tiring looking for a car with Ted is like trying to buy a tv and Im not a fan lol. But Im so glad we got me the car we did. I love it and it meets all my requirements lol. Manual. Sunroof. Not white/silver. Nice. I kept it simple lol. Sunday we were supposed to go to the baby shower but the storm was coming in and we didnt want to take the chance of something happening with Ted needing to get back to work. So we couldnt make the drive but Jasmine and Chris made the drive on Monday and stayed the night with us. =) that was awesome to see her all preganat and cute and to finally meet Chris. Hopefully we see them more often. Ted is looking to switch companies to the company Chris works for which is in CO which will get him closer to me and able to fly to Vegas cheaper ;) heck yes!
Well Im still feeling a little sinus headache so Im going to lay down and maybe try to push through this book a little more. Since I just bought 5 new books (boarders 25% off heck yes) and I have to get another book for the book club Im joining next month. Alright. Good Night my lovelies.

Heres My Moment For Them

I was looking for new music and found this song by P!nk Fuckin Perfect. This song is amazing!

I honestly dont understand the point in bullying people. I never got bullied, sure I've been talked about and hated for stupid reasons and reasons I dont understand. I've been called names all kinds of names but I was never bullied I dont think so anyways. But Ive seen my fair share of kids that were bullied I have had friends be bullied and who commited suicide because they thought that was the only way out of the pain. I wish I had told them they were perfect to me and could have made them believe that enough to not do it but I didnt. And Im sure I didnt try enough because I was to busy or didnt think it was that serious. For that I am sorry.

I just thought Id take a moment and remember the people Ive know that 'had no way out'

I miss them. I wonder where they would be today had people (including me) been nicer and actually been there for them.

Heres my moment to them.

Hello From ND week 1 down.

So its been a few days since my last blog. Only because it didnt save and I was to mad to sit and retype out the blog. So Ive taken a few days to cool off and so here I am cooled off and ready to blog again. =)
Ive been in ND for 10 days now. I am really bummed that I havent really found anything to take pictures of since EVERYTHING is covered in dirty snow. (which Im not a fan of.) Well Ted had a day off yesterday so we went to the movies and watched I Am Number Four. It was pretty good very Jumper like to me but it was alright. I didnt understand the end so much if they had one why couldnt they take the other? Anyways moving on. We also went shopping :) honestly it was snowing 1' an hour people! and windy so I didnt want to leave the warm mall who had a bunch of sales going on. So I got jeans $3 two shirts $10(total) skirt $2 heck yes Im super proud of that. I also spend way more on a purse that I am surely IN LOVE WITH I think since I spent so much on it it should be buried with me I love it that much.
Hey good news...I layed on my stomach today! You better believe it suckers. Less than a week after and I laid on my stomach Im sure it wont happen to much they are still a little sore more itchy than anything but still.
Alright Ill say good bye from ND on this blog. Ill be working on my next Quote blog shortly.
Have a good night. Lovelies

1st and 2nd day of ND

I left CO on Saturday morning. Met some pretty funny guys in the security line who talked about golf but I got them to talk about baseball instead so that way I could actually hold the conversation. It was pretty awesome. Usually after check in I put my headphones in and dont pay attention to anyone around me but this time I just wanted to get through the line. So Im glad I didnt and met them they made me laugh. So I landed in ND in the afternoon. I do have to say that, the poor flight attendant looked so bored all alone in the flight. I wanted to talk to her just so she wouldnt be sitting alone the whole time lol.
Anyways, so far Dickenson is a pretty nice town. Yesterday we went to the mall and got me a super warm jacket =) we went to the movie theater which only has 3 movies playing. So we watched Just Go With It. HILARIOUS! Then dinner. Today we got up early and went to Bismark the capital. We went again to the mall =) and got me some new shoes (yay) and new earrings. Then dinner at the Alien Bar. That was a cute little place. Completely for kids but they have a bar (yay). Tomorrow the search is on for a piercing place. We looked for some today but being Sunday and all they were closed. So tomorrow is the plan (woohoo)
Its totally time for me to go to bed. Here are some pictures so far on my trip. Oh and I took my camera out to get a picture of this HUGE cow on a hill but my button was broken off. I seriously think that my heart stopped for a minute or two. Thats heart breaking to know my camera is out of commision and no sign of getting a new one. So we will see what happens. I wasnt planning on saving for a camera for at least a year but now it looks like the saving starts now. =/
Alright back to the pictures.

I've been trying to pack since my mom left which was the 31st. I've been completely slacking on that. I think thats because as much as Im looking forward to being around my friends/family in Vegas I'm also not looking forward to leaving my friends/family here, and honestly if it werent for the people who would want to leave CO for NV? But I got FOUR DAYS. 4 Days! Did you hear? Its been over a month. Actually closer to 2 months now since I seen Ted. How is that possible that time has gone by that fast? Hopefully my year of school goes this quickly. So thats right after 2 months Saturday Im leaving on a jet plane, dont know when Ill be back again. (Actually the only thing relatable from that song is my leaving on a plane part...maybe that wasnt the best song lyric to use?) Oh well. But anyways the plan is 3 weeks people. 3 WHOLE weeks of time with Ted Im excited. He will be working 2 of those weeks so its uncertain how much time there actually will be spent with him but when hes home I wont be sleeping alone YAY which in turn means maybe...just maybe I wont wake up at midnight and be unhappily awake for 4 hours. My fingers are crossed for that because that = no.fun.at.all. Guess what happens when Im in FREEZING, did I mention every time I talk to him its -double digits? Yea! Can you say never.leaving.the.room? N.DAKOTA, anyways back to what happens while Im there. I will be searching and searching until I find a place to get my nipples pierced. Im so sure some of you dont care about this little tid bit of info but Im so excited to finally get this done. Its going to be awesome. Ive been wanting to have this done for a few months it was supposed to be my birthday present but he wasnt home for that so now its so happening.
So 3 weeks of N.Dakota then we will be driving back the first week of March for car shopping (another thing Im so looking forward to), Jasmines baby shower, then the big move.
Moving on. Im setting some goals for myself this year.
-Get accepted to Tech School. After talking to the lady on the phone I have all the requirements so heres hoping.
-Read more classic novels. I read so many books but I tend to skip the classics.
-Plan our wedding. I want to be a "married couple" before we buy our next house. Which will be after school.
-Handle school and a clinic/shelter job and possibly another job in Vegas
-Blog more often. Really this time.

Ill leave you with some pictures =)

My lovelies Bren and Laurie. I will miss them

The Banfield Gang-my goodbye dinner =)

The valentines I bought Walmart $3 heck yes!

The classic books Ill be reading this year. More to be added later.

LoVe

Thats right bitches...nothing beats Rock

Mom and I at an imax movie

Jasmines baby shower invites I made her =)

My Smokey

Just because its been FOREVER

So I think blogging isnt for me...I am really terrible about actually doing it on a regular basis LIKE REALLY bad about it. I sit in bed usually every other night and read other peoples blogs but never actually want to blog myself. I dont know if thats because I have sharing issues or because my life is THAT boring?
Anyways today I went out and bought myself a duffel bag...I dont think Ive ever owned one of those before haha Im not really a fan but at $20 compared to a suitcase the same size for $60 heck yes I own a duffel bag now (dont judge me) Anyways the plan is to try and fit all of my clothes into it for my travels in the next few months. We will see how that goes or if I have to own 2 duffel bags. Anyways so the ticket to N.Dakota is booked I leave the 12th. I cant WAIT to see Ted. I cant believe its been over a month since I seen him. I miss him a lot! A lot, A LOT A LOT!! Hopefully when I get there Ill be able to get my birthday present...s. and Im excited to see a new place. Depending on how cold it really is there and how much time alone I spend (with Ted working and all) Im thinking it would be a good idea to get out and take some pictures of things. So hopefully Im able to do that. And can you believe I have to actually buy a stinken jacket...like a REAL jacket. Im so not happy about this. Even less happy then the fact that I broke down and bought gloves this year. Stupid cold wheather. Im not a fan. Im just saying.
My last day of work is Wednesday...who quits a job on a Wednesday? Really thats a crappy day to stop working. I have a reason though. My mom will be here on Thursday so thats why Wednesday its just a stupid day really right in the middle of the week. Oh well. I will miss them though they are fabulous people. =)
So on to my mom coming. I have no idea what the crap we are going to do while she is here. Im sure dinner and site seeing(crosses fingers and prays to the gods that it doesnt snow) hopefully I can get us some kind of show tickets and who knows what else really. Im actually pretty excited about it I think itll be fun. Weve never really done anything just the two of us before I think itll be good for us.
As of today I am about half way through Jasmines baby shower invitations. I am really happy with the way they are turning out. =) after I get settled in N.Dakota I will start working on the gifts for the baby. Which if I say so myself will be awesome.
Alright my crazy book is calling my name so Im going to go and read now haha. Yep Im that BIG of a dork...oh and guess how close we are to baseball season. :) what can I say the simple things in life make me the happiest.
Good night.

So. There. It. Is.

Im awake so why not blog? I went to bed about 10pm sound asleep dreaming about something random and crazy and at about 12am I pop awake, wide awake, I moved half an inch to realize I feel like Ive been kicked in the back. Man handling a 70lb dog is not fun while its happening and really isnt fun after the day is done. But Im sure it'll be fine soon. Now if only I could fix this non-sleeping thing I have going on. I've been going to sleep normally but always waking up around 12 or 1am to be stuck awake for a few hour then fall back to sleep. IM.NOT.A.FAN. I can do with minimal sleep I can do great on 2 hours of sleep but not interrupted sleep thats not good. And its interrupted for no reason. I woke up before I got the text or the text is sitting there for hours or there is no text. I dont know what my mind is thinking it's missing but it better figure it out and get over it FAST!
Anyways lets move on from my non-sleep life and on to my awake life.
So as most of you know Ive been trying to decide my next LIFE decision (they suck fyi) but after MUCH MUCH MUCH thought and conversations with Ted it has been figured out.
And Drumroll Please.....
Vegas Bond I Am!...did you hear that? VEGAS HERE I COME. I of course told my boss yesterday. Which is why I am free to blog about it. So thats the news. Some people know, not a lot of people but some and now everyone does. Its the most logical decision to be made really. I can't continue school here or N. Dakota without starting all over again. CO. Springs was NEVER really an option. I will be leaving work most likely the day my mom gets here January 27th. Ted will be down for the weekend =) YAY then my mom will leave around the 31st. Ted and I will drive back to N. Dakota for anywhere between 2 weeks and a month (thats not decided yet). While Im in N. Dakota I will be checking out the colleges up there, so the Vegas plans might change (Ill be happy with either one as long as Im not alone and enrolled in school somewhere). But if they don't, then Ted will drive me back we'll go to Jasmines baby shower. Well figure out if Ted will drive to Vegas with me or I'll be making my first out of state drive alone :(I vote not on that one. But if it just wont work out for him to come Ill pull up my big girl pants and make the drive alone. Im sure with lots of rest stops. So we will see what happens then. Plus side to Vegas? Ted will come visit me on his weeks off. =)
I would love to stay here I really would. Its closer to Ted which is a huge plus but I waited 6 years to actually continue my education and I have no reason to stop now. I mean Ill make more money. Work places wont be as limited. I would stay if I made more money here and could guarantee that I would learn EVERYTHING thats on the Tech test in two years well enough to be able to pass it. But I know not every clinic sees the same things and the test is so wide spread I have no doubt I wouldn't learn certain things, and I dont want to half ass it by waiting to see and then finding out I was right and then having to go to school at 28years old, when now is as good as any time for me to go. I will miss my co-workers. They have been great teachers to me which I appreciate very much. Hopefully before I go we can all get some drinks or something. And when I come back to CO I'll visit them =) I will also miss my family here. Teds parents have always been great to us helping with everything we ever needed. I am glad I got to spend my holidays with them and Teds grandma and cousin. I'll miss them. I do wish while Ted was here that we spent more time down there even if it was to just take Audrey to the movies or something. I think that would have been nice. It'll be a plan that when Im back we will do that for sure and if he isn't in town I'll do it myself. I of course will miss my "other family" my girls from school. I love those girls they are fabulous girls I wish I lived closer during this past year so we coud have seen each other more often. But remember Ill be back in no time and I know where most of you live so if we lose touch I WILL show up at your doors when I get back. Thats a promise. Plus I'm sure I'll be here to visit...and considering I just found out today...well yesterday that Jason Aldean will be at the Cheyenne Frontier Days in July, that just might be a time to come visit. ;) so well see if I can make that happen.
There is my big Life News. Very big life news really. I am pretty bummed about leaving CO I freaken love this place and I sure have met some FABULOUS people that I will dearly miss. But its only a year and four months. Not to long once graduation is done. Ill be packed and on my way back.
Alright being 4am and knowing me Ill be up by 8am damn not being able to sleep in. I should try to get some sleep even if its only 4 hours or so. Good night. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. Seriously though...dont let them bite those suckers are nasty. Have you ever seen one up close? Just nasty really. Anyways for real. Good night.

First Christmas

My Colorado Christmas. It was a good day really it was. I was with family and not alone which is good. But I didnt have my traditional christmas. Which is lasagna dinner with my family gift exchange and loads of laughs and of course wine. Lots of wine.
Last year Ted and I went to the movies on Christmas morning with my aunt and cousin that was a start of a new tradition. This year I got to go to the movies with a cousin and a very good friend who I love! So that was good that I got to carry on that new tradition. After that I went back to Teds grandmas house had dinner and we opened one gift on Christmas Eve (I've never understood that tradition) we didnt really do that when we were younger because its Jazines birthday so gift opening was all for her that day really. But then I talked to Ted for a few hours. I love when we are able to do that. =) So I was asleep by 1am woke up at about 5:30am, everyone else was up by 6:30am. We opened presents at 7am. The rest of the day was spent sitting in a chair reading a book. I pretty much tried to keep to myself for most of the day just because I honestly wasnt sure if at some point I would think of something and break down. Im pretty emotional due to the holiday without my "normals" and the fact that I have a phone I dont want to bother giving people the number to because its not my number. So I wasnt able to talk to my best friend today which Im sure Ill hear about whenever this phone stuff gets figured out. I didnt get to talk to anyone I usually have contact with today so that sucks. Finally I texted my sister and got to talk to her a bit that made me happy. Of course texting Ted during the day was a big help. Also I had a really good conversation with my mom. Shes coming to see me next month. Im really excited about that. I am so ready to have a close relationship with her. I know it should have happened a long time ago but now is a chance to start that...really. So she will be here a weekend next month. Woo hoo.
So here I am back home laying in bed with my babies. I missed them over the night. (yes I am a dork like that) But they are my comforts right now.
I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas. And if you texted me and got no response Im sorry first thing in the morning Ill be down at verizon trying to get this number thing figured out.
Also I want to say...I didnt hate today like it might seem. It was a great day Im very thankful for everyone I got to spend the day with (today and yesterday) I was just out of my comfort zone a little bit and I of course am a lot bummed about that. But it was a good day.

2010 was a good year

I havent blogged since Dec. 8?? Where the crap did this month go...really? No, where did the whole year go? I cant believe the whole year is over! A lot has happened this year though.
-We moved outta Vegas
-Ive started and finished school
-Got a new job in my new field
-Ted got a new job in his new field
-Ted moved to North Dakota(not officially but close enough)
-We turned 25
See a lot has happened. Its crazy to think back over a year that has had so much happen. Im happy about everything its been a sucessful year for both of us which is so awesome.
But maybe next year Ill be better at blogging, and actually finishing my book list. I know I finished a lot of them and added more to the original list but thats okay. Ill have to reformat my blog for next year maybe Ill start that soon, but I wouldnt count on that.

What do you believe?

Awe, the death penalty. Either you don't believe in it or you do. I do. I think if you are spending your life in jail you should be put to death. There is no reason for you to sit in a jail cell all your life and waste tax payers money. I think if youve murdered, raped, did ANYTHING to harm a child, You. Should. Be. Put. To. Death. You should be able to appeal your case in 5 years and if its denied within the year you should die. There should be no rapiest, murders, child molesters walking around the world, breathing air, and living life when the people they have hurt are broken because of them. One chance at life thats all you get so if you choose to use your chance hurting other people and ruining other peoples lives than honestly whats the point in your life?

Im sure people will think its wrong to kill people, honestly an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind. I get that but seriously what use are people like that in the world? What good are they? What use do they have? They dont contribute to the function of the world. I honestly think if you hold no function in the world you have no reason to be here. If in some way you cant make the world a better place at some point in your life then you hold no value. Those people hold no value in our world and should be done with. So when Bush was govenor of Texas and was killing off the people on death row I was all for that. Id hope that if people werent getting 25 years for it to be figured out they fingered the wrong guy then maybe the system will get better and the wrong guy wouldnt be put in jail in the first place. With the technology we have today there is no reason people should be in there 25 years for something they didnt do...they shouldnt even be put in there in the first place and I think without all the years to be able to say "oh sorry we got it wrong, heres a million dollars hope that helps," then theres no reason for the system to make those kinds of error with a human life on the line like that.

Anyways thats where my mind is at right now. Not for any real reason actually. Alright then I think its bedtime for me. Its been a long day.

whatever Im annoyed.

So Im watching Tracy Morgan stand up. It was funny until he started talking about the Presidents. First he went on about how he's so glad we have a black president. I really dont understand this statment to be honest. What does race have to do with being a good leader? If he was white that would open peoples eyes to see hes a shity president? Im just wondering how that works. Then he goes on to talk about Bush (of course) I wasnt a fan of his leadership either but he says "Bush had something to do with 9/11, he knows where Bin Laden is" Umm really you think any American that knows where he is wouldnt take him out? Honestly? Would that be possible? You can have your opinion on someone and on the job they do but to accuse them of that? Really? And Im sorry but if your "Black President" is such an amazing leader why hasnt he caught Bin Laden yet? When will the shit war tackits start with this president? Or you think because hes black they wont come? Or is it because hes "fixing" Bush's ecconomic issues and health care problems that catching Bin Laden isnt important anymore?
Im really annoyed with people talking about how they are happy to have a black president. Get over it. I understand that black and white people do things differently and I know it shouldnt matter but some people think it does. But people really need to look past that and actually see what is going on. How things are being ran they are no better then when Bush was in office. Honestly they are getting worse because he wants to change what we were built on as a country. Alright Im just annoyed and I think its time for bed.
Good night

School, Work, CO, Vegas, N. Dakota? huh?

I want to blog. I know I should blog. But everything on my mind I dont really want in a blog. Since Im still trying to figure things out. I really wish decision were as easy as they seemed to be in High School. Nothing really seemed to matter past that day. Now we have to think about everything, the now and the future, plus everyone who is involoved. It sucks I want it to be easy. But nope. Right now Im trying to figure out school. The only Pima in CO that has Tech is Co. Springs. I dont like it there. I dont want to live there alone (like really alone) because with Ted in N. Dakota thats what will happen. Theres a school in N. Dakota that has a Tech program but that means starting over. Which means the last 8 months of hard work = waste of time. Im not a fan of time wasting anymore. Everything from now on has to mean something for the future to me. So that leaves....Pima in Vegas seems to be the best option. I dont have to start over and I wont be alone. But that means 2 years without Ted :( That will be hard Im not going to lie but honestly with his weeks off coming to see me means our weeks together will be more special right? I think so. Plus anytime I have off I can fly up and see him :) yay. I do have a job waiting for me up there at Jared. Not in my field but I think I can pull off school and two jobs when I find a job at a clinic. Or I can work at the shelter out there because I know they are ALWAYS looking for people there. But either way whichever one is decided it wont be for a while since I own no car. Im really trying not to regret selling my jeep. Really I am. I know Im not doing a good job at it and I know it was the best decision at the time. But still sucks now. It leaves me stuck in so many different ways. Not so much going here and there I have a car for that. But as far as moving anywhere even somewhere in town and staying at my job now is out because I would have no car. But anyways. This is where I am on school decisions. If anyone was wondering. This was more to write down the options and nitpick the issues with them. But there it is. Anyone have any thoughts on the best choice? Help a girl out and all that jazz. Thanks in advance.

Bah Humbug

So, its that time a year again. You know THAT time again. Christmas. =/ I hate it. Ive always hated it, its such a crap holiday of fake smiles and happiness. Its starts around December 1st and goes until the day after Christmas. I mean really can you get any faker? People start saying hi, smiling, and all the crap they should be doing all year long but dont until the beginning of December then the moment they got what they wanted for the year its back to rude, unsmiley, crabby bitches.

People always say Valentines Day is made up and it totally is theres no reason to have the day but atleast its a good day. The only people that hate Valentines Day are bitter people that are rude to everyone so no one loves them on that day or any other day. But at least its not a whole month of fake people to get good gifts on that day. So Id take Valentines Day over Christmas any day of the week. And if people tell you it has nothing to do with presents THEY ARE LYING!!!! No question about it the day is only about what gifts you get because if it wasnt they wouldnt give presents. If its really a holiday about family then have dinner with family and nothing else. Why give the gifts? If it was just decorations and family dinners Id be all for it actually Id look forward to it like Thanksgiving but its not.

I seem to be the only one that feels that way and thats fine Im totally fine with being the scrooge but thats how I feel and if I could get Ted to not celebrate it I totally would, and Id raise my kids on no presents on Christmas, they would know its a day for family and nothing else. We would celebrate Christmas we would decorate and have a huge dinner just like everyone else there would just be no gifts. But in all honesty if the day after Halloween I could skip to December 31st I would do that so I didnt have to deal with any of November or December.

Vegas Trip

So my trip to Vegas last week, even though it was for sad reasons I had a really good time. I got to see the people I wasnt able to see last time and I actually got to know my dad a little bit more through my mom and his friends which was pretty cool. I will say that even more than before I still dont like to be hugged by people I dont know/dont like. Im not a fan! If I stick my hand out for you to shake thats what you should do not grab it and pull me in for a hug, it grosses me out! Im just saying. But anyways the trip was good.

We got there on Monday at 4am, Terry, Ted and I stayed up til about 6am watching stupid youtube videos yes we are that special lol.

Tuesday I spend the WHOLE day with my lovely little girl and her awesome mother =) love those girls! I have been asked to be Natalia's (other) godmother! And of course I said YES!!!! Thats exciting news to me. I wish I could watch her grow up. Im still sad that I wont be there for her 2nd birthday this is the only birthday of hers I plan to miss.

Wednesday I got to see Debbie-Deb and Eric love those guys we got coffee at of course Starbucks. I also seen NES!! I havent seen her in years so it was good to see her again.

Thursday Debbie took me out for my birthday dinner to Red Robin for hamburger with EGG heck yes! dont judge me that shit is good. We got drunk together, which is always fun.

Than it was off to stay with Brett and Amber (sorry, I totally fell asleep on you guys) like within minutes of being there I was past out. So there was no visiting them on my part but Ted hung out with them.

Friday was the service for my dad which turned out to be really good Ryan did a fabulous job I love that he is a pastor and Im so glad that my dad found God before he past away I think that was really good for him and Im glad Ryan was part of leading him. Jazine and Lonnie guided him very well too. Giving him his bible was a great idea even though I didnt think it would be but turned out to be a great one. I wish I could have witnessed some of his changes. Im sorry I missed out on that. But we were mending things and I think our last talks were great and have been the reason Im okay with the way things happened so quickly.

Chris and Ang came to the service which was awesome. I thought for sure I wouldnt see them this trip either because both our lunch dates didnt happen but it was great seeing them. =) I love them.

We were heading back to CO Friday night and I locked the keys in the jeep...well it was a mix of both of us but that set us back about an hour but then we finally left and made it back by 2pm Saturday. Ted got some rest and left for N. Dakota at 10pm. He made it there the next morning for his OSHA classes he will be back in 2 weeks. Then he will be in Golden CO for CDL training for a month. Good thing I LOVE Golden its so pretty.

So that leaves me at this week, which in 3 days will be my birthday. =/ Ive never been alone on my birthday which sucks I always had Ted and family but this year itll be just me. I have to spend the day at school picking up my graduation stuff then the rest of the night....nothing. So I have a feeling Ill be in bed by 8pm just to get the day over with which sucks but thats life. Ill get over it its just a birthday, one that seems to remind me how much time is passing me by.