whatever Im annoyed.

So Im watching Tracy Morgan stand up. It was funny until he started talking about the Presidents. First he went on about how he's so glad we have a black president. I really dont understand this statment to be honest. What does race have to do with being a good leader? If he was white that would open peoples eyes to see hes a shity president? Im just wondering how that works. Then he goes on to talk about Bush (of course) I wasnt a fan of his leadership either but he says "Bush had something to do with 9/11, he knows where Bin Laden is" Umm really you think any American that knows where he is wouldnt take him out? Honestly? Would that be possible? You can have your opinion on someone and on the job they do but to accuse them of that? Really? And Im sorry but if your "Black President" is such an amazing leader why hasnt he caught Bin Laden yet? When will the shit war tackits start with this president? Or you think because hes black they wont come? Or is it because hes "fixing" Bush's ecconomic issues and health care problems that catching Bin Laden isnt important anymore?
Im really annoyed with people talking about how they are happy to have a black president. Get over it. I understand that black and white people do things differently and I know it shouldnt matter but some people think it does. But people really need to look past that and actually see what is going on. How things are being ran they are no better then when Bush was in office. Honestly they are getting worse because he wants to change what we were built on as a country. Alright Im just annoyed and I think its time for bed.
Good night

Safe Haven-Nick Sparks finished

I finished the book I started about a week ago already. Its a Nick Sparks book so of course I sped through it like it was nothing like always. I do have to say that it's a good book and its very much a Sparks book. If you've read any of his books before you know what Im talking about. But I didnt really like the story. Its about a woman running from her abusive husband she changes her name and runs to a small town to start over. She falls in love with a father of two, the husband finds her. Its very much The Gaurdian which wasnt my favorite of his books. Actually behind Dear John its my least favorite. I went into this book having NO idea what it was about. I saw that he had a new book, didnt read the back and just jumped right into it. Its started fairly slow but ended pretty well. It ended in Sparks fashion no doubt. I actually was talking to Jazine about it and with 3 chapters left I told her how it was going to end, I got one small detail wrong but the rest was basically dead on. I will say Im not a fan that he didnt do an epilogue at the end. I think if he did that I might like it a little more. But all in all its a decent book. If you like his work you should check it out. But if you are a fan of his early stuff like Bend In The Road I might skip this if I were you.

School, Work, CO, Vegas, N. Dakota? huh?

I want to blog. I know I should blog. But everything on my mind I dont really want in a blog. Since Im still trying to figure things out. I really wish decision were as easy as they seemed to be in High School. Nothing really seemed to matter past that day. Now we have to think about everything, the now and the future, plus everyone who is involoved. It sucks I want it to be easy. But nope. Right now Im trying to figure out school. The only Pima in CO that has Tech is Co. Springs. I dont like it there. I dont want to live there alone (like really alone) because with Ted in N. Dakota thats what will happen. Theres a school in N. Dakota that has a Tech program but that means starting over. Which means the last 8 months of hard work = waste of time. Im not a fan of time wasting anymore. Everything from now on has to mean something for the future to me. So that leaves....Pima in Vegas seems to be the best option. I dont have to start over and I wont be alone. But that means 2 years without Ted :( That will be hard Im not going to lie but honestly with his weeks off coming to see me means our weeks together will be more special right? I think so. Plus anytime I have off I can fly up and see him :) yay. I do have a job waiting for me up there at Jared. Not in my field but I think I can pull off school and two jobs when I find a job at a clinic. Or I can work at the shelter out there because I know they are ALWAYS looking for people there. But either way whichever one is decided it wont be for a while since I own no car. Im really trying not to regret selling my jeep. Really I am. I know Im not doing a good job at it and I know it was the best decision at the time. But still sucks now. It leaves me stuck in so many different ways. Not so much going here and there I have a car for that. But as far as moving anywhere even somewhere in town and staying at my job now is out because I would have no car. But anyways. This is where I am on school decisions. If anyone was wondering. This was more to write down the options and nitpick the issues with them. But there it is. Anyone have any thoughts on the best choice? Help a girl out and all that jazz. Thanks in advance.

Before The Storm-Diane Chamberlain (finished)

So I just finished this book. I dont even remember what number book this is, but I finished and thats what matters.
Glad to be done with it. It wasn't a bad book, it actually was a pretty decent read it kept me interested the whole time. I wanted to get to certain peoples' side of the story more than others. But like I posted before it put doubts in my head about my own want for children. They have always been there so it's not like the book actually put them there just brought them front and center of my mind. I know everyone says "youd be a great mother" or "there's no way you wouldn't be good at it" but that doesn't change the thoughts I have I don't think anyone telling me postive things could actually change them so I guess I'll keep having them until I figure it out in my own head.
Anyways this isn't about my lack of confidance in being a good mother it's about the book. So it's about a woman who has a daughter and falls into a deep depression, doesn't take care of her child, her husband takes their daughter to live with a friend while she falls deeper into her depression. She starts drinking and ends up preganat again but keeps drinking. Finally having a baby with F.A.S.D and they end up taking him away until she can get cleans. Well there's a bunch of scandle with her husband and his brother. There's a fire and it's a race to figure out who actually started it. So all in all its a good book.

Wordless Wednesday

WORDLESS WEDNESDAYS!

Before The Storm-Diane Chamberlain

Alright, I'm about three quarters of the way through my next book. Ive been reading it for a few weeks now. Its taking me to long to finish it, and thats because things happen in it and it makes me question myself.
Its called Before The Storm by Diane Chamberlain. Its a good book, its about a woman who falls in love with a man and they start a family but she ends up with postpartum depression and becomes an alcoholic, becomes preganat again and contiunes to drink and has a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome.
So as Im reading it I wonder if this will happen to me no the drinking or really the depression itself but when she talks about her unattachment to her child. Thats what scares me I have so many issues with getting attached to people so what are the chances Ill have the same issue with my own child? I know Ive become attached to some children one I havent even met in person yet but I mean this does happen to people what if Im one of those people? That scares the crap out of me to be honest. This all goes back to me doubting if Ill be a good mother anyways. I think this was a bad book decision just based on these things. But other then that its a really good read.
-Just a tip if you like Jodi Pocult books you should check out Diane Chamberlian books they have similar writing styles-

Wordless Wednesday

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Bah Humbug

So, its that time a year again. You know THAT time again. Christmas. =/ I hate it. Ive always hated it, its such a crap holiday of fake smiles and happiness. Its starts around December 1st and goes until the day after Christmas. I mean really can you get any faker? People start saying hi, smiling, and all the crap they should be doing all year long but dont until the beginning of December then the moment they got what they wanted for the year its back to rude, unsmiley, crabby bitches.

People always say Valentines Day is made up and it totally is theres no reason to have the day but atleast its a good day. The only people that hate Valentines Day are bitter people that are rude to everyone so no one loves them on that day or any other day. But at least its not a whole month of fake people to get good gifts on that day. So Id take Valentines Day over Christmas any day of the week. And if people tell you it has nothing to do with presents THEY ARE LYING!!!! No question about it the day is only about what gifts you get because if it wasnt they wouldnt give presents. If its really a holiday about family then have dinner with family and nothing else. Why give the gifts? If it was just decorations and family dinners Id be all for it actually Id look forward to it like Thanksgiving but its not.

I seem to be the only one that feels that way and thats fine Im totally fine with being the scrooge but thats how I feel and if I could get Ted to not celebrate it I totally would, and Id raise my kids on no presents on Christmas, they would know its a day for family and nothing else. We would celebrate Christmas we would decorate and have a huge dinner just like everyone else there would just be no gifts. But in all honesty if the day after Halloween I could skip to December 31st I would do that so I didnt have to deal with any of November or December.